In My Own Little Chair I Can Be Whatever I Want to Be!

So, I’m not quite sure I understand what Dr. Piper thinks about the Prosperity Gospel. He really doesn’t seem to passionate one way or the other. (Sarcasm off)

We should do this on Sundays… (go read the whole thing for the options)

http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/2008/07/346-worship-leaders-that-add-word-and.html

What usually happens is that a worship leader wants to smooth over what
he/she thinks is an awkward transition between verse and chorus. So
they reach into their bag of tricks, which is where they keep their
hair product by the way, and pull out the word “and.”

Then, in the middle of “God of Wonders, instead of singing, “Early in the morning, I will celebrate the light,” they sing “And early in the morning, I will celebrate the light.” Instead of singing, “Every blessing you pour out, ” you sing, “And every blessing you pour out.” Before you know it, the word “and” is running wild in the sanctuary like a family of rabbits.

You
can’t stop this phenomenon, you can only contain it. But, even that can
be fun. Here are three things to do with all those extra “ands.”

I’ve been back in central Iowa for almost a week now and realized I didn’t update the blog to tell others that.  So if you’ve been following along and wondered where I was now, I’m home.  For some strange reason, my Internet connection in my hotel room went bye-bye the last two days of the GC.  Not much to report, really.  Something for the constitution did get passed with “inclusive language” but I’m not entirely sure what it was, or what the difference is between the Book of Discipline and the Constitution.

Personally, I think the motto for GC 2012 should be “Simplicity.”  One committee is needed to simply go through the B of D and cross out everything that doesn’t really matter.  For example, I sat in on one committee that passed a petition saying that the Methodist Church doesn’t support sexual harassment of clergywomen.  (I had NO idea that because that petition wasn’t previously in the Book of Discipline it secretly meant we condoned that behavior.  My bad.)

But, really?  That HAD to be put in there?  Isn’t it pretty obvious that no one supports that?  What’s next?  “We believe that oxygen is important to keep humans alive” or “Arsenic should not be put in the communion wine.”  Duh.

This morning, I had breakfast with Friend Jessica, who is Not Mexican, even though I met her in Mexico and she currently lives there. She’s actually from Pennsylvania, but living as a missionary in Mexico. She was in Dallas for the past couple days and stopped in to say Hola.

I finished up breakfast with her, and then had her come up and meet The Family. She left a little after 10. Betty went to the GC to translate, and she called around 10:40 and said, “I don’t know what you are doing now, but you should stop it and get over here.” So Grace and I quickly walked to the GC and went into the plenary session to find out that “those people” had filled the aisles–some dressed in all black as a sign of mourning–and a woman was speaking somewhere (I still haven’t figured out who it was or where she was standing) about the Godlessness of the decisions passed yesterday by the delegates and the sinfulness that is found in this GC because they aren’t doing the Will of God. Provide NOW everything they want. She invited others to stand with them. I didn’t see anyone else standing up to join those already standing.

I started recording as soon as I could. Then a man somewhere spoke again about the shamefulness of this GC and the brokenness of the Church. He then pointed out the altar table in the middle of the delegates that had been covered by a black cloth and invited those who were “in harmony with those being persecuted” to also place black cloths on the table. That took a bit of time. Then they filed out and the GC worship leaders began singing, “Jesus, remember me when You come into Your kingdom.” That switched into “His Eye is on the Sparrow” and the Witness was over. The plenary took a 10 minute recess then before beginning the actual business of the day.

Betty said “they” asked for a 15-minute time frame in advance to protest the decision. This was agreed to, I think, because they were going to protest regardless, and this way it’s over and done with in the morning so the delegates can get back to work. It wasn’t broadcast on the Internet, though, because “officially” it was all during a recess, and they don’t show break times on the Internet. Quite frankly, it’d be a waste of money to show delegates standing around talking, so that’s the general rule for recesses and breaks, which is what this falls under.

I might try to figure out how to post video from my DVD recorder later today. We’ll see what happens this afternoon. Look at me witness history! Boo-yeah.

I know this isn’t a big “Spiritual battle” thing or anything, but I’m saddened at the results of American Idol tonight, though not shocked by them.  Brooke has had a not-so-good run the last few weeks and it seems like the stress of the show was really getting to her, but she still was a favorite of mine.  I think she was my vote for “Most Likely to Have a Fun Conversation over Dinner with.”  I think Jason and Syesha will be the next two off–the order doesn’t really matter–and it will become David vs. David in the Finals.

Cookie vs. Archie, as it were.

One is a big, blue Muppet, the other is a comic book character.  I gotta Vote Muppet in this case.

(Sometimes it’s nice to escape reality and focus on more superficial matters.  Just ask Paula Abdul.)

In favor of the minority report from the Church and Society committee. What does that mean? I will explain…I think…Betty just explained it to me.

When a committee recommends a petition to the plenary, they then say either, “We recommend you reject this petition” or “We recommend you adopt this petition.” If there are at least 20 signatures and a creation of a different petition, then the committee presents a Majority Report (the petition as passed/rejected by the committee) and a Minority Report (the one from 20+ other people). It’s similar to a committee saying, “We present Option A, but there’s also an Option B now.”

So, this afternoon, while Grace and I were still at the Zoo (which was a good thing, Betty said, because a 5-year-old didn’t need to be around some of the anger that was used in the ‘discussion’ today), the plenary voted on Petition 80449–Human Sexuality as found in the Book of Discipline 161 paragraph G. They presented the Majority Report (which is found in an earlier post) and then the Minority Report. The Majority Report then gets amended, and then it moves on to the Minority Report. The Minority Report gets amended AND debated, and then voted on. If the Minority Report passes, that makes the Majority Report a lovely piece of paper that no longer has any meaning and gets thrown out and the Minority Report is what gets added into the latest edition of the Book of Discipline. If the Minority Report doesn’t pass, then the delegates debate the Majority Report. If the Majority Report fails, then the Book of Discipline doesn’t change from 2004 till now.

This Minority Report passed, and here’s what it says (I’m copying it in without the strike-through formatting that is used on the conference website because it’s annoying):

The Petition is amended as follows:
G) Human Sexuality-We affirm that sexuality is God’s good gift to all persons. We call everyone to responsible stewardship of this sacred gift.
Although all persons are sexual beings whether or not they are married, sexual relations are affirmed only within the covenant of monogamous, heterosexual marriage.
We deplore all forms of the commercialization, abuse, and exploitation of sex. We call for strict global enforcement of laws prohibiting the sexual exploitation of children and for adequate protection, guidance, and counseling for abused children. All persons, regardless of age, gender, marital status, or sexual orientation, are entitled to have their human and civil rights ensured and to be protected against violence. The Church should support the family in providing age-appropriate education regarding sexuality to children, youth and adults.
We affirm that all persons are individuals of sacred worth, created in the image of God. All need the ministry of the church in our struggles for human fulfillment, as well as the spiritual and emotional care of a fellowship that enables reconciling relationships with God, with others, and with self. The United Methodist Church does not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider this practice incompatible with Christian teaching. We affirm that God’s grace is available to all. We will live together in Christian community, welcoming, forgiving, and loving one another, as Christ has loved and accepted us.

Here is a link for you to check out:

The conference play-by-play of the petition. To find the various reports, click on the link on that page that says “full text” immediately above the heading “Plenary Action Status.”

Honestly, I’m disappointed I missed the discussion, but I completely agree with Betty that Grace didn’t need to be there and since my “job” is to be with her, I’m glad I wasn’t there. The debate still rages on, however. At the very beginning of the session tonight, a delegate from West Ohio stood up and asked to suspend the rules to revisit 80449. He got shot down, 66%-33%, which is the exact opposite of what he needed to get. Then, a petition to revise the language for church membership came up–whether or not a local church has to let people join, or if it is the pastor’s discernment and/or congregation’s decision. The minority report failed (pastor and congregation’s decision), and then the majority report failed (everyone gets in), but it was a 49-51 split. Basically, it was still “code” for “You have to let me in even if I’m a practicing homosexual” and so conservatives were cool with everything failing. I think. That’s my analysis from the upper deck.

The fight still rages on. They have over 100 calendar items to still complete, and two days to do it. Friday is going to be pure chaos.

Kim,Sara,Miguel and me went to  the zoo  and saw a gorilla and  this time  it was………………..

S           L                       P              E                E                    I              N                       G!

There’s a site that “translates” whatever you type into a 12-year-old AOL IM/Text lingo.  Out of curiosity, I typed in our church’s mission statement like this:

The mission of Grimes United Methodist Church is to win souls and make disciples.

Here’s how it’s “translated” into text:

DA MISION OF GRIEMS UNIETD MATHODIST CHURCH SI 2 WIN SUS AND MAEK DISCIPLES!1!1!1!! OMG LOL

Go play around with the site.  It’s quite fun.